THE BARTER SYSTEM OF INDIA

‘Marriage’ is a very sacred, auspicious and pure institution, wherein, not just the two souls of the bride and the groom meet, but the two families also interact to become one big family. In India, as we all know, family  form a very important part, that is, it forms the part and parcel of our life. Without a family nothing can be imagined. And marriage is a very unique form to increase ones family.

But is the scenario so simple? Before any marriage the families instead of inquiring about the value system of the opposite family, first investigates about their economic status. And moreover ‘DOWRY’ forms an important constituent of all Indian marriages. Not just now, but the system of dowry has been prevalent since ages and today as well in this twenty first century, the mindset hasn’t really changed. Today as well we see many cases of forced marriage due to economic reasons and in our patriarchal society a girl has no wish of herself, she has to abide by the wishes of a male head. Things like dowry death and torture for dowry hasn’t decreased but instead has increased.

In this account, I would like to share one of my personal experiences. In my locality lived a greatly reputed family with two sons. The younger one got married to a very wealthy girl and brought with her good fat dowry. But the wife of the elder one was from a middle class family, who had lost her parents in her childhood and was brought up by her uncle and aunt. As expected, the mother-in-law always cursed and taunted the elder wife in front of the younger one and her husband being a ‘MAMMA’S BOY’, never raised his voice. She was made to do all the household chores. Even after giving birth to two children, the insults and the taunts didn’t stop. Being frustrated from her situation she drank poison and died.

A girl leaves her own house and comes to a new house with loads of new dreams. She believes that her new house and new parents would be just like her own house, just like she used to have small arguments with her mother similarly she would fight with her mother-in-law  but this would not hamper their relationship. But all her dreams break like glass, when she hears such taunts and insults. In many situations, if a boy has to sit and eat upon the income of her wife, he feels ashamed. But while taking dowry, there is no such feeling of shame; such is the parody of the situation in our society. The thread of any relation is very fragile one setback and everything gets over.

Another example of unnatural demand for dowry is from south India’s one of the community called ‘CHETTINAR’, which is believed to be one of the most prestigious high class caste. In order to marry girls of this community, the parents have to give kilos of gold apart from other things.

Why has the society reduced the position of a girl to a mere object , in order to sell whom one has to pay a price in the form of dowry? This system was actually started as a voluntary measure in which whatever the parents of the girl wished could give but gradually it changed into a ‘BARTER SYSTEM’, wherein, in order to buy a good groom a fat amount of dowry has to be given. Such customs show how materialistic we are.  We claim ourselves to be very advanced and modern but still our thinking hasn’t altered much since the previous ages. All these rituals actually depict our inhumane and animal nature that in order to attain some amount we don’t even hesitate to kill an innocent person. We should actually put a mirror in front of us and try to see our real-self behind that mask of a good and polished human to rectify all such faults.

THE BUTTERFLY

The becoming of a butterfly from a caterpillar inspires most of us. The journey undertook to finally come out of its cocoon and flutter its wings to fly, possesses within it, the joie de vivre. The butterfly story is in many ways analogous to our life situations. From the caterpillar, which can only dream about flying, all of us in some ways emerge to become butterflies. When the world writes us down, when we have our back against the wall, each of us in their own right, surface from their cocoon to conquer the world.

Here is the story of Sean Swarner, who became the first person to be diagnosed with two deadly cancers, Hodgkin’s disease and Askin’s sarcoma, at the age of 13 and 16 respectively. With the doctor’s prognosis giving him just 14 days to live, he defied all odds and survived. As though his survival was not enough, he climbed the highest mountain peaks of all the seven continents, hence completing the Seven-Peak challenge. He became world renowned for his truly miraculous story. Sean’s story reflects how he sprung out of his cocoon and spread his wings to fly. Churchill was once quoted as saying, “Success is not final, and failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts”. Like Sean, each of us has an inspirational story in which we play the role of the protagonist. Through all the bumpy roads and rough turns, we finally emerge out victorious.

If we closely analyze the stages of transformation for a butterfly, we come to realize the importance of the cocoon. While the caterpillar is in the cocoon, varies internal processes are taking place. This stage though dormant, is the pivotal stage for the butterfly. A man watched closely as the butterfly emerged out of its cocoon. For several hours he watched intensely, as it tussles, seeming to make no progress. So, to help it out, he cut the flap with a pair of scissors. What he failed to realize was that, the struggle inside the cocoon was absolutely necessary for the butterfly’s survival. That butterfly could not properly develop its wings and was never able to fly. Like that, life can bring challenges which might seem unconquerable at first, but it is the butterfly within all of us, which finally not only conquers it but also surmounts it to reach greater heights. As they say:

“You must want to fly so much that

You are willing to give up being a caterpillar.”