THE BARTER SYSTEM OF INDIA

‘Marriage’ is a very sacred, auspicious and pure institution, wherein, not just the two souls of the bride and the groom meet, but the two families also interact to become one big family. In India, as we all know, family  form a very important part, that is, it forms the part and parcel of our life. Without a family nothing can be imagined. And marriage is a very unique form to increase ones family.

But is the scenario so simple? Before any marriage the families instead of inquiring about the value system of the opposite family, first investigates about their economic status. And moreover ‘DOWRY’ forms an important constituent of all Indian marriages. Not just now, but the system of dowry has been prevalent since ages and today as well in this twenty first century, the mindset hasn’t really changed. Today as well we see many cases of forced marriage due to economic reasons and in our patriarchal society a girl has no wish of herself, she has to abide by the wishes of a male head. Things like dowry death and torture for dowry hasn’t decreased but instead has increased.

In this account, I would like to share one of my personal experiences. In my locality lived a greatly reputed family with two sons. The younger one got married to a very wealthy girl and brought with her good fat dowry. But the wife of the elder one was from a middle class family, who had lost her parents in her childhood and was brought up by her uncle and aunt. As expected, the mother-in-law always cursed and taunted the elder wife in front of the younger one and her husband being a ‘MAMMA’S BOY’, never raised his voice. She was made to do all the household chores. Even after giving birth to two children, the insults and the taunts didn’t stop. Being frustrated from her situation she drank poison and died.

A girl leaves her own house and comes to a new house with loads of new dreams. She believes that her new house and new parents would be just like her own house, just like she used to have small arguments with her mother similarly she would fight with her mother-in-law  but this would not hamper their relationship. But all her dreams break like glass, when she hears such taunts and insults. In many situations, if a boy has to sit and eat upon the income of her wife, he feels ashamed. But while taking dowry, there is no such feeling of shame; such is the parody of the situation in our society. The thread of any relation is very fragile one setback and everything gets over.

Another example of unnatural demand for dowry is from south India’s one of the community called ‘CHETTINAR’, which is believed to be one of the most prestigious high class caste. In order to marry girls of this community, the parents have to give kilos of gold apart from other things.

Why has the society reduced the position of a girl to a mere object , in order to sell whom one has to pay a price in the form of dowry? This system was actually started as a voluntary measure in which whatever the parents of the girl wished could give but gradually it changed into a ‘BARTER SYSTEM’, wherein, in order to buy a good groom a fat amount of dowry has to be given. Such customs show how materialistic we are.  We claim ourselves to be very advanced and modern but still our thinking hasn’t altered much since the previous ages. All these rituals actually depict our inhumane and animal nature that in order to attain some amount we don’t even hesitate to kill an innocent person. We should actually put a mirror in front of us and try to see our real-self behind that mask of a good and polished human to rectify all such faults.

THE BUTTERFLY

The becoming of a butterfly from a caterpillar inspires most of us. The journey undertook to finally come out of its cocoon and flutter its wings to fly, possesses within it, the joie de vivre. The butterfly story is in many ways analogous to our life situations. From the caterpillar, which can only dream about flying, all of us in some ways emerge to become butterflies. When the world writes us down, when we have our back against the wall, each of us in their own right, surface from their cocoon to conquer the world.

Here is the story of Sean Swarner, who became the first person to be diagnosed with two deadly cancers, Hodgkin’s disease and Askin’s sarcoma, at the age of 13 and 16 respectively. With the doctor’s prognosis giving him just 14 days to live, he defied all odds and survived. As though his survival was not enough, he climbed the highest mountain peaks of all the seven continents, hence completing the Seven-Peak challenge. He became world renowned for his truly miraculous story. Sean’s story reflects how he sprung out of his cocoon and spread his wings to fly. Churchill was once quoted as saying, “Success is not final, and failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts”. Like Sean, each of us has an inspirational story in which we play the role of the protagonist. Through all the bumpy roads and rough turns, we finally emerge out victorious.

If we closely analyze the stages of transformation for a butterfly, we come to realize the importance of the cocoon. While the caterpillar is in the cocoon, varies internal processes are taking place. This stage though dormant, is the pivotal stage for the butterfly. A man watched closely as the butterfly emerged out of its cocoon. For several hours he watched intensely, as it tussles, seeming to make no progress. So, to help it out, he cut the flap with a pair of scissors. What he failed to realize was that, the struggle inside the cocoon was absolutely necessary for the butterfly’s survival. That butterfly could not properly develop its wings and was never able to fly. Like that, life can bring challenges which might seem unconquerable at first, but it is the butterfly within all of us, which finally not only conquers it but also surmounts it to reach greater heights. As they say:

“You must want to fly so much that

You are willing to give up being a caterpillar.”

Nothing is forever

“Life is a stage” said Shakespeare. Everyone has their own role, everyone has a particular character and once the role is over, the character exists the stage. Well this is the scene of the whole world but what about our own lives? Is it a stage as well?

Well, I agree. Our life is an ongoing drama. When a person is born, god puts him in a web of relationship.  Every relationship is connected to the other and every relationship is important. If one is ignored you fall down. Moreover its a web where at every point you meet a new person. But a strange thing is that, every person you meet comes only for a particular period of time and leaves behind two things– memories,( may be good or bad )and a lesson. Every person every day teach us a lesson.

I will tell you an incident, we were travelling for vacations to a hill station, and the driver of our car stops at regular intervals for his meals and we ignored our meals as we the people living in urban areas do not care for timely meals, but later on we learnt from the driver that he does so to avoid longtime sicknesses. Then we realised that if an illiterate person can follow his routine then why can’t educated people like us? This is a very small incident but you will realise that every person teach you something. Everybody has to fulfil his own role and exit. Even the person who hurts you the most teach you  very important lessons and when you meet some other stranger you are careful not to make the same mistakes again.

Therefore, when anybody leaves your life be it chosing the path of eternity or taking the path opposite to yours, do not get disheartened. It’s just that you are turning one more page of your life. Whenever you read a novel, the 2nd page is always better than the first, it has something new for you. Similarly, every new page of your life has something new. It’s just that, the person who has given you more of love, memories, care and comfort deserve to be in your prayers and the person who aims at filling your eyes with salt water deserves to be deleted from your life.

It’s very difficult to forget someone special. Instead I should say its impossible to forget someone, because however hard you try, if anyone in the crowd takes the name of that person your eyes will search the person who was in your life. But just because you can’t forget, you should not stand still. Your life is a flowing river not a stagnant pool. You need to live your life and remember if you succeed, both your enemies and your loved ones will have tears. Your loved ones out of love for you and your enemies….. well everyone knows the reason!

If we meet, we are meant to depart!!

Sherlock

Sir Arthur Conon Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes must have been the most modern man of his times that is the 19thCentury. His knowledge in various fields now classified under the umbrella, forensics, wasn’t although what made ‘the science of deduction’ possible. His knowledge was accompanied by the optical technology of those times: magnifying glass and microscope.

Reinterpreting Doyle’s great work, BBC has recreated Sherlock and set the series in the modern-day London and have excellently converted the Victorian work into a 21st Century drama. And technology, as we know it now, has been shown as we know it but with a twist. It assists Sherlock in all his endeavors and it has been used in editing to give the viewers more perspective into the consulting detective’s mind.

According to the creator of ‘Sherlock’ and actor who plays his brother Mycroft, Steven Moffat, the most important equipment that has been used and sets Sherlock apart from all the other tech-savvy shows of this time is Sherlock’s mobile phone.

The floating words representing texts, internet searches or any other form of technical interface has become the central identity of the series and this makes the series so astute. The episodes of the series have been edited in a manner to make the viewer get immensely involved in the plot by displaying any text message anyone sends or receives onscreen and Sherlock’s deductions are mostly shown as well.

Five minutes into the first episode, ‘The Study in Pink’, the journalists along with DI Greg Lestrade and Sergeant Donovan receive the same message saying ‘Wrong!’ from Sherlock, which is actually his first onscreen ‘appearance’. We weren’t shown the small screens of the phones of people present, instead the text was shown onscreen.

Sherlock, in the same episode, tells John and their friend Mike how he prefers to text people over making calls. That could be because Sherlock, as per John has the Asperger Syndrome.

But a mobile does a lot more than just texting. Sherlock has been seen using his mobile phone to search for things he doesn’t have knowledge of, like the fictional Van Buren Supernova in ‘The Great Game’, to trace the killer in ‘The Study of Pink’ by tracking the missing phone of victim 4, to check the weather of a different area in the same episode, etc.

In ‘A Scandal in Belgravia’, Irene Alder continually communicates with Sherlock via messages while later, Sherlock is trying to crack the password of her phone after she is allegedly dead.

In Doyle’s novels, Dr. Watson used to make entries in his journal to account his experiences with Sherlock which has been reinvented as blogs in Moffat’s adaptation.

The visual and audio inclusion of the mobile phone and modern technology particularly keeps the interest of viewers and offers additional information without the usage of dialogues between characters.

The deductions Sherlock makes in the series are done quite fast because Sherlock thinks as fast as we Google and it would have been hard to follow the same without the assistance of the words to represent his rapid deductions! The visual effect makes on think Sherlock is a computer himself or at least works like one (at one point he points at his head and tells John him that his brain is a hard drive). This has been done in all episodes of the series. I particularly liked how the deduction-text onscreen was not clear when Sherlock and John got drunk on John’s Bachelor Party and went on to solve the case of the Mayflower Man in ‘The Sign of Three’. 

Another scene that struck me the most was when Sherlock deduces Mary Mortsan and those surround Mary in ‘The Empty Hearse’ and the same deductions getting replaced by ‘Liar’ in ‘His Last Vow’.

The modern-day Sherlock series also incorporates social media, for example, in ‘The Empty Hearse’ the screen is flooded with multiple Twitter hashtags stating Sherlock is alive!

But just like how the technology of the 19th Century i.e. the magnifying glass and a microscope amplified Sherlock’s abilities, the natural abilities of Sherlock in the BBC series are merely augmented by his mobile phone. Although, the series makes us recognize how our lives in the 21st Century are mediated substantially.

TIDE OF TIME

They say change is the only constant. Indeed we as a race have learnt to take it in our stride. Change is inseparable from our activities and over time we accept it, whether consciously or subconsciously. The idea that time heals all wounds is but based on this ability of people to adopt to change in their lives.

Nature itself presents change to us every few months in the form of evolving seasons- from the radiant brightness, to the grey moistness to the crimson hue and finally the serene whiteness. And we being creatures of habit adapt to this constant change. How oxymoronic is that?

Think of Darwin and his theory of evolution survival of the fittest and all of that. The most supreme species is that which can acclimatize to its surroundings and adapt to survive. And adapt is what we do whenever change presents itself whether easy or tough, whether desirable or hateful!

But every once in a while, a change comes along which seems devastating to even perceive. The very thought of it disturbs the peace of mind that we are always seeking to maintain.  And that is the true test of our perseverance and will power learning to accept the painful inevitable. Once you imbibe the actual change it may not be as bad as imagined. Yet managing to reach that stage of acceptance is a battle in its own right. A battle of the desire to feel secure and happy  with the need to evolve and grow. A battle of what is effortless and painless with what is hurtful and necessary. In short a battle of the quiet determination of the mind with the persistent denial of the heart! And emerging victorious is not easy but what is even more heartbreaking is that it is not an option!

THE GREAT DIVIDE

I watched closely, as an infant stepped into this world.  It fluttered its tiny blue eyes and greeted the world with a euphoric smile. Before it could properly adjust itself to this newness, the world had already planned its fate. Little did it know that although it had all the features resembling other newborns, it would be divided on many other grounds. I then pondered upon a simple thought. When we as humans do not have the power to choose the wombs we are born into, then how can we divide each other on the basis of it? To simply put, our religion or our identity is given to us by chance not choice.

In India, this divide is not limited only to religions. Even within religions the divide continues. For instance, Hinduism consists of four fundamental castes or classes, the Brahmana, the Kshatriya, the Vaishya, and the Shudra. The Shudras are considered to be most inferior and the Brahmanas enjoy superiority among all the classes. Further, this kind of classification is again not restricted only to Hinduism. If we look at other religions too, it will be apparent how mere interpretation of  holy texts and historic events leads to a formation of a completely different class within a religion. Is this classification needed in a society? In a multi-cultural and diverse society as ours, where each region may be considered as a separate country, this great divide creates complexities and has in many instances lead to loss of innocent lives due to riots. When a marriage is arranged in India, the first basic question generally asked is whether the bride or the bridegroom is from the same caste and religion. I wondered then, where is the question of those two respective people being compatible for each other or the fact that whether they can be happy with each other. The final goal, as I have come to understand, of each one of us, as he/she later realizes is his/her search for happiness. Aren’t we then with these categorizations only complicating what is a simple truth of life and searching for a power which clearly resides within us?

This great divide is omnipresent, as if to say humans are born to stereotype. But for a society to really evolve, these frivolous groupings need to come to an immediate end. The world has seen enough bloodshed based on religion and it is now time rise above these differences and to live with peace and tranquility. Nelson Mandela once said:

“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite”.

Home Delivery

Sprawled across the couch, which was turned to face the television set lying in the centre of a coffee table, he did what he had always done whenever he started to get uneasy.  He cranked up the volume of the television set as if the blaring sound from that obsolete piece could dispel the gloominess of his silent and bare home. Though not badly furnished, the house however lacked a certain warmth in appearance, which a woman usually brings to it. Suddenly getting irritable with the cacophony of the television, he turned the volume down to low. It was an unfortunate time to do this, since that very moment the clock placed on the mantelpiece suddenly ticked shrilly to announce the arrival of the hour, piercing sharply through the eerie silence of the room. At the same time his stomach rumbled loudly in hunger. The combined sounds startled him out of his skin. He cursed loudly with a choice selection of words he had reserved for those who delayed his meals. That day the object of his outburst was the pizzeria which was supposed to deliver his meal about a quarter of an hour ago.

As an afterthought, he found himself wondering aloud why he had started getting so jumpy in the late evenings. For the lack of something better to do, he switched to the eleven O’ clock news. The newsreader wrapped up the national headlines in the first quarter of the hour. It was followed by the local news. The local news that day was a special segment on an escaped convict last sighted in the man’s very own locality. He was known to seek shelter in local homes for the night, often killing the occupants of his refuge lest they squeal about his whereabouts to the police. The police had finally understood the pattern between those seemingly random murders the last month and had linked it to the convict who had escaped about then too.

Though the man hated to admit it to himself, he was suddenly quite alarmed. He listened intently to the description being given on the news, which was mostly ordinary except for a tiny scar running down the left cheek of the convict. “How dramatic!” he sighed to himself, losing his faith in the story with every passing minute.

Yet such is the nature of humans that even the flicker of a doubt can put one in deep unease. He wondered why he suddenly felt inclined to close all the windows as advised on the broadcast. Having made the decision to comply made him feel both better and worse at the same time. Though he felt easier in the mind, he was also a little disgusted that he had relented so quickly. To feel better about himself, he turned off the news to prove his incredulity of its content even though he was fooling no one. Then as he moved to the first window to fasten it, he was taken aback to see that it was pouring heavily outside. He shook his head in disbelief at how he hadn’t even heard the heavy downpour. As if on cue, a bolt of lightning thundered across the sky to make its presence felt to him.

For that split second, the shadowy garden suddenly lit up and it revealed the silhouette of a crouching man! He jumped back in alarm and temporarily froze in terror. Then a nagging sensation in his brain reminded him of what he needed to do. He rushed to every window and shuttered it ferociously and in under a minute he had accomplished the intended task. He had also triple locked the main door of the house. Suddenly, a loud flash of lightning passed across the sky and the front door started rattling loudly as if it was being forced from the outside. Terror seized the man, who at first decided to hide but then as the rattling of the door got louder rushed to the telephone to call for assistance. He realized he was speaking into a dead phone. Naturally with the heavy downpour the phone lines had given way. He rushed to his next best option, but his cell phone too refused to yield since there was no signal available in this atrocious weather.

Bracing himself for his fate, he grabbed a long sharp kitchen knife that he used for chopping meat and held it behind his back, while cautiously proceeding towards the door. The shaking of the door was getting more violent by the second. Saying a silent prayer in his mind, the man flung the door open and recoiled backwards in anticipation of the worst.

The sight of a young man drenched in the heavy downpour clutching a cardboard box, at first bewildered him and then as realization sunk in, relief as he had never known it before passed over him. It was the pizza delivery guy! The man suddenly felt giddy with relief and sunk to his knees. The knife he had held clattered loudly as it hit the floor behind him. The delivery boy was alarmed at his sudden collapse and rushed forward to help him up. The man however was so delighted that he felt like hugging the delivery boy. Then, sensing the unease of the delivery boy at his odd behavior, he drew out the required amount for paying him off, tipping him largely to compensate for his seemingly absurd conduct. Just as he was about to close the door, a bolt of lightning flashed across the sky and for the first time revealed the face of the pizza delivery boy. It was quite a handsome face on the whole, except for a tiny little scar running down the left cheek!